New Year with hopes of more progress!

Tonight Blair and I will be ringing in the New Year with my Mom and some pizza, the husband is going to be snowboarding with his work crew. Yes, I know, I am a very nice wife to let him go. But seeing how he works 50+hours a week and practically swam with the horses the other day, I suppose he deserves a little fun. So as for 2011 we're hoping there will be a lot of curvature to Blair's sockets, maybe a sibling to run after or at least a happy and stress free Mama.

My resolutions are basically the same every year: Loose weight, loose the stress, save more money, gain more patience...Now that I am a mother a few more get added: Find more time to spend with the horses, think of new and fun things to do with Blair, cook healthier, take more videos and print more pictures, organize the playroom, and most importantly be happy with myself. I've never been that into partying on New Years so an early night with my Baby sounds good to me! 11 months to go until our next ortho appt, a lot can happen in that amount of time.

Where has the time gone??

Oh my gosh my little girl is almost 2 years old!!! Where did the time go? I can still remember the morning I found out I was pregnant and 3 tests later the nerves and excitement I felt, the first time I felt her move, the day we found out she was a girl...oh my gosh I just can't believe it's almost her birthday. This time last year I was HUGE and my feet were swollen, and I was sooo scared about labor.

I am so excited for this Christmas, Blair had some practice unwrapping during her uncle Chad's and Daddy's birthday, and I know she's going to LOVE her kitchen set and bath baby. I could care less if I got a single present I am so overjoyed that I can get Blair presents and all the decorations and dinner with family. Such a wonderful time of year, and then two weeks later we are going to celebrate her birthday.

As far as DDH goes I'm still worrying about it, watch every step, agonize over whether or not surgery is going to happen and hope that any future children are born without it.

Turkey, turkey, turkey

Wow what a thanksgiving, with the husbands help as sou chef we got it all cooked in time. All my mushroom appetizers were eaten and we have plenty of turkey leftover. Blair enjoyed every minute of family time, and even got to play with her cousin for a bit. A few BooBoos for the day, I don't know what was wrong! Blair was running with her feetie pjs and fell, breaking the little candleholder she was playing with and cut her hand, then she tirpped over her highchair leg and smacked her face on the tile. Needless to say Mama held her most of the day.

I can't believe how much has changed in a year. As I went through our christmas decorations I had to cry a bit when I pulled out Casey's stocking. My first christmas without her is going to be a hard one. I am trying to be positive and cheerful though.

It has been soo cold, we've been going through a ton of firewood and for the past week I've been trying to fix Magic's jacket. It is so hard to do a lot of things with a toddler running around, one of them being able to concentrate and sew something...I don't know why it's become so hard and I promise Magic I will finish it this weekend. It's a good thing he's a gentlemen and let Melo wear the other jacket.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year. Blair's kitchen set has already arrived and her daddy better start working on putting it together soon. I have just about all my shopping done, and charlie brown christmas tree is looking great this year. I took advantage of old navy's black friday online and treated myself to a few new clothing pieces. I'm also awaiting the much anticipated arrival of a new pair of shoes, my poor danskos have had it. I ordered a pair of clarks and I hope they're comfy.

As everyone has been saying that they're thankful for their healthy families I find a twinge of jealousy. I know that I should be saying the same thing but I just can't help but still be afraid that Blair will need surgery. She is healthy in every aspect, she's smart, affectionate, hitting all the milestones but her hips aren't where they should be and it really stresses me out. To wait a whole year is agonizing and I dread the worst and hope for the best. I've been praying for a wonderful year ahead of us, with hopefully some good surprises and an even better x-ray.

It's been awhile but I'm slowly recovering from a month of hell

I haven't updated my DDH Blog for awhile, even with our latest appt. But truly week from hell happened before our big appt and I haven't had the courage to even write about it. As I hold back the tears I will tell everyone that I had to put my beloved Casey cat to sleep, the night before we left for Oakland. Yes I know some don't hold their animals as dear to their hearts as my family does, but Casey was part of my family. She was dropped off in a box at our barn when I was in the sixth grade, she was a tiny little baby and ever since then she was with me. Always the runt, she turned herself into an indoor cat for fear of the other cats beating her up. She slept on my pillow for 15 years, almost every night. She had the loudest purrr you'd ever hear from a small torte. She was gentle with Blair, loved cereal milk and the warm balcony. She was feeling ill for the past week and I worried about her simply getting old but during the weekend she went downhill fast and after two days of bawling my eyes out, a few frantic phone calls we went to the emergency vet where they took some x-rays and found cancer. They say it's a gift to give an animal the release from pain but it was the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life. We did a nighttime burial right next to my ozzy and then left early the next day with puffy eyes and a very broken heart. As I write my heart literally hurts I can feel it everynight when the house is quiet, when I walk into blair's room or look on the balcony. Life will never be the same and I could really use some happiness right now. I am thankful for a husband who listens to me cry and tries his best for comfort me. But there's not much comfort when you loose someone.

Leading up to that horrible weekend my dad's dog Nicky was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to get surgery. Although this wasn't our first big surgery or crisis with Nicky it was very scary and very stressful. But I'm happy to say she is back to her normal self and has even gained 5lbs.

As for our DDH appt the trip was hard, and to make it worse the security gaurds wouldn't let darren park the truck outside of the hospital even though we cannot fit in the parking garage. So he had to drive around oakland looking for a spot while I tried my best to hold blair for her x-ray. Which didn't turn out that great, but Dr H saw some progress, you could see her sockets are starting to curve a bit and her growth centers are now congruent. So back we gone in a year at which time will (hopefully not) discuss surgery. It seems like darren is a bit down after the appt, he's always been optimistic but now it's hard not to worry for another year! DDH is such a rollercoaster, I don't want blair to have surgery but if it has to happen we'll make due. One thing is for sure, we can make it through anything as long as we have eachother.

It's that time!!

My favorite thing to get in the mail (besides packages that I order) is the reminder of our Oakland appt. It comes a week or so before our appt and I sigh a little relief that yes we're going and I have the right day and time on the calendar:) I can't wait to talk to the dr and see new x-rays, I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. Part of my worry recently is that our insurance is changing...we went from not paying per month to having part of Darren's paycheck going towards it. I'm nervous as usual but I suppose I should be used to it all by now but it's a new experience everytime, not only for the trip but the results.

Along with our DDH worries we are going through a reversal with some other things. Blair refuses to sleep in her crib, so we turned in into a toddler bed, which she also hates. She'll lay in it if Casey cat is in there, or if we lay with her. So back to bed with us. Blair also isn't a big fan of bathtime, which used to be her favorite. She's talking a lot now, she's no chatterbox but new words are coming out everyday. A few important ones being more, milk, and help. Blair is also loving rocks, she is her mother's daughter:) She'll line them up outside, cart them around, throw them, put them in her pockets, I think it's the main reason she wants to go outside:) Halloween is Sunday and I am so excited that Darren has the day off, we'll be going house to house for relatives to see Blair. Should be a lot of fun. "teet" as Blair would say for Trick or Treat, obviously she'll take the treat!

It's finally happened...I've become a bribing mom

Hello toddler years, goodbye lying still for diaper changes, eating what's in front of you, and sleeping in! Blair is testing out her communication skills, and will powers! I've had to walk out of the room a few times to restrain my frustration. And (gulP) I've started bribery in the form of stickers. My daughter is a sticker lover, she loves peeling them, sticking them to her feet, or most of the time my arm. They bribe her to let me brush her teeth, diaper changes, and dressing in the morning would not be complete without them! She also hated her costume that I spent two days sewing, I have to admit I was a little heart broken when I showed it to her and she replied in a very polite "no" and ran off. She later tried it on for a few M&Ms...my Mom made her the cutest halloween bag which has been filled with dog treats, the other bribery/distraction tool used in the Moser household. She loves to play with dog treats, run from Josh, hide from Josh and get sniffed and searched by Josh. It's very sweet, and thankgoodness I have a sweet dog who is gentle and doesn't mind a toddler running off with treats.

On a ddh note, three weeks until our next x-ray and doctor visit! Woohoo I cannot wait. I was looking through B's medical records and I read on her first visit that her left hip was dislocatable and she had two different leg lengths. Why didn't I read that before? Sometimes I seriously think I was walking around without my head, how could I not know that important info?? Each visit there after her legs were subluxed and he never mentioned a leg length differnce nor has the pediatricans, so I know there has been some progress. Wondering what her new indexes are and if HOPEFULLY we can see him once a year, or the dreadful words of surgery. Either way I'm anxious to get down there!

Sooo tired today!

I always thought that someday soon Blair would sleep right through the night and I might get a consecutive 8 hours of snoozing time...but that doesn't seem to happen in this house. We've had a few good nights of Blair sleeping in her crib until 5am or so, but lately she gets up around 11 and wants out, there's no rocking her back to sleep, laying her back down or any comfort at all. She cries and points to the bed in her room pleading for me to sleep with her. I don't mind this much at all, it's not like she's going to be a 16year old who has to sleep with her mama still. But last night was horrible, she cried and kicked me and cried some more. I am so tired but after a few cups of coffee and a diet pepsi there's no way I'll be taking a nap. I wish she'd tell me what is wrong, is she sick? a tooth? Both I am assuming, she has a runny nose and her hands are in her mouth lately. So here's to hoping we have a better night!